About Me

Lots of stuff drives me nuts! I think there are a lot of retarded people out there that don't know they're retarded. This blog is dedicated to those people.

Friday, February 6, 2009

I'm wanted?

So I haven't even logged on for a several weeks and when I do I find out that I'm wanted! No Whitney, I'm not on happy pills. I'm still as pissed as ever. Actually I see things daily and think to myself that I need to get that on my blog. I'm racking my brain trying to remember all of the retarded stuff I've seen over the past month or so. Here is one to keep you entertained until I remember the other 20 or so.

First one that comes to mind...playgrounds at fast food restaurants and the kids who take off their shoes to play in them! Now...keep in mind the my kids love these places but how gross is it to watch some kids take off their shoes to head into the place. Even more retarded is the kids to take off their shoes only to reveal that they aren't wearing socks. How many diseases do you think are spread in those places? So, whenever we give in and head to Carl's Jr. or McDonalds we eat dinner at 4:00. This way the place is bound to be empty and there won't be any other kids there. However, without fail there is always someone walking in right after us with 8 kids under 10 years old, each 40 lbs overweight who all run into the play area, strip down to what seems like only their dirty underwear and spread the sickness all over the place. At which time I yell to the kids "Time to go!"

(by the way, every time this happens some snotty kid tries to tell Averi and Lily that they can't come in with shoes on. I quickly take care of the situation but next time I'm going to drop kick the kid over to Arby's!)

Another one quickly...people who still write checks at the grocery store. Holy Crap! These days there are about 58 other ways to pay and you choose the slowest, most dragged out process there is!

Which leads me to the next one...(they are all coming back baby!). Stupid stores who offer their 'Advantage Club' or 'Preferred Club' or 'Membership Rewards Program' and force people to fill out the 20 page application while everyone else waits in line. I cringe everytime I'm next in line, in a hurry, and I hear the following:

"Are you a rewards Member?"
"Would you like to hear about it?"
"It can save you 0.001% on all of your purchases over $1,000,000"
"Wow...tell me about it"
"Blah Blah Blah...fill out this 40 page application...blah blah"
"Sweet..can I borrow a pen?"

Absolutely 101% retarded and I now feel better. Stay tuned. I'm sure they'll all start flooding back to me as quickly as ever!

Monday, December 15, 2008

100% old and retarded...

Old people at Costco. Holy Crap!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Damn pharmacies and parents who shouldn't be parents...

The other night I took Averi into the WeeCare facility as she was complaining about a sore throat and earache. She had an ear infection and we were given a Rx. I took Averi home and began my journey to get the Rx filled. I ran to Smith's and arrived at 9:55 (5 minutes before closing). As I walked in the direction I noticed the gates shut. They had closed 5 minutes early. I asked them what time they closed and the said 10 o'clock. I basically called them liars and that they should change their sign to 9:55.

So I ran to Walgreens in Kaysville and they were closed, Albertsons....closed. So back to Layton to visit the 24 hours Walgreens.

By this time it was nearing 10:45pm. I dropped of the Rx and waited. It was at this time I became aware of all the kids walking around with their parents. Most of the kids were dressed poorly (pajamas, no shoes, t-shirts, shorts etc.) and looked like they had been dragged around all day, now just waiting to go home. Keep in mind it was almost 11:00! My kids had been asleep for nearly 3 hours at this point. As I checked out most of these people were checking out as well with their US Magazine, 2-liter Shasta bottles, and cartons of cigarettes. I noticed one poor boy getting into the car in the parking lot. He didn't seem too happy, was arguing with his mom and grandma and finally got in the car. Before they pulled away both Mom and Grandma lighted up their 'cancer sticks' as the poor kid inhaled it all the way home.

What the hell!? For those families I saw with no home or unemployed..I'm sorry. For the moms/dads who needed their Us Magazines and cigarettes and dragged their kids all around town...you're 100% retarded.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Note to self....never foget your camera for the Utah vs. byu game.

Wow..what a Saturday evening. First Utah was awesome. I was a wreck all week but woke up Saturday morning with a pretty good feeling. I thought it would be closer than it turned out to be but had a good feeling Utah would win going away. There were a few things that confirmed to me that Utah would win. First, Alex Smith was in the house and gave us a "Go Utes!" as he worked his way down the isle (needed a camera). Second, the byu 'whities' from Utah county weren't able to celebrate their 'heritage' by performing the Haka dance. Utah (specifically Slyvester Stevenson) made sure to wonder over as they were assuming position and put an end to that nonsense. The ensuing scuffle added to the excitement. Third the first series of the game Utah throws a swing pass to their WR. He puts one move on byu's cornerback and pretty much breaks his ankles. I knew they wouldn't be able to stop us.

Now on a side note I've got to discuss the Utah county invasion on Rice Eccles this year. Holy crap...when did Vanilla Ice have 2000-tuplets? Either that or Utah county has a Compton that non of us know about. I have never seen so many people trying to look the exact same (needed camera especially at this time). From the time we entered the stadium and made our way to our seats my Bro and I couldn't stop pointing people out to each other. So many white, goofy wannabe gangsters that it was comical. I wonder the next day when they go to church if the just wear their tie sideways/crooked or what. Seriously, I considered skipping the game and sitting outside and people watching. I will make this promise right now...I will never forget my camera when attending anything byu related for as long as I live.

It was a great day. Utah goes 12-0 during byu's dream year. byu goes 10-2 during their Quest for Perfection season. Utah goes to its 2nd BCS game before byu sniffs a chance. Max "Heisman Contender" Hall throws 5 interceptions and is responsible for 6 total turnovers. Bronco "Boring as Hell" Mendenhall gets 6 months to think of next years slogan that will ultimately bite them in the ass. Max Hall will have plenty of spare time on January 1st to watch 'The Office'!

Greg Wrubell (the ultimate zoobie homer) points out:

"Bronco is now 1-8 v. ranked teams, and BYU has now lost 20 of its last 21 games to teams that were ranked at either the time of the meeting or at the end of the season in which they met.

After nights like last night, the popular "big picture" question becomes whether BYU can consistently compete with and beat the best teams in the country. It's true that BYU did so in the pre-BCS days of the 80s and early-to-mid 90s, but since 1999, BYU has exactly one such win to show for itself (at TCU in 2006).

Utah meantime, has won 6 of its last 8 versus ranked teams, and is now 6-0 alltime when both the Utes and their opponents are ranked."

All we hear between February and November is talk, talk, talk about their greatness. But as shown above, the stats are pretty telling. Please shut the hell up until after you accomplish something extraordinary. That is all.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Now we have more issues...

I usually averaged one post a week but this week it's just been too easy. Seriously...with this many retarded people out there I could post every hour these days.

First you've got the new president, then you've got the gays losing and whining, then you've got the gays mailing crap to the Mormons. Now this:

I'm wondering now that they've outlawed gays from adopting in Arkansas, maybe they can just move to NE and hang out at the hospital! When will it end people?